ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
