just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
