Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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