Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
