Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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