Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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