bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
