people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
