The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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