can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
