Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
