Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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