There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
