I'm really into asian looking animals
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
