so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This is the high leading the old right now
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
