Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
