im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
