i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
