We're facebook friends in real life
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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