just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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