Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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