Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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