WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
