Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
