I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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