oh god the rape fog is back!
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
