NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
