Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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