I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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