please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Still dying that you shit outside
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
