I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
