That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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