from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
