Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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