OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
