i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
