Duck Duck Cougar?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
