Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
