Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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