im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
