my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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