you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
My vagina is officially offended.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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