1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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