I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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