this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
