Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Pants are for mortals
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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