I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
