She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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