Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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