sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
