why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
